I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for community-led events in the front-end community, and I am forever grateful for that. However, I am heartbroken by the current state of the events.

Many community-led events have recently been cancelled due to low ticket sales, which feeds a gigantic gap of events left by the pandemic. I remember we had to cancel the in-person London CSS and IndieWebCamp London at the very last minute back in 2020, and it was incredibly stressful to disappoint attendees and speakers.

It is obvious that in-person events have either not returned or are maybe a little less frequent than before the pandemic. But that was a public health event—having to cancel events due to financial strain sounds incredibly painful, and I know it is the current stress of many event organisers.

When I moved to the UK in 2015, I struggled a lot. I was already struggling with feeling too much of a junior developer. I felt alone and missed my friends. I also thought that the front-end community was my co-workers who happened to be bullies and whatever the Twitter timeline showed me. I hated myself and this career, but I genuinely had absolutely no other skill that could match the salary I desperately needed.

My friend Paul joined the company I was working at and recommended events for me to attend. Nearly 10 years later, Paul and I still attend conferences together. At the time, he raved about FFConf. I got a ticket, and my life changed.

I couldn't believe it - there were actually conferences and meet-ups that encouraged you as you are and welcomed you even with all your lack of knowledge. At the time, I always thought I didn't belong at any meet-up or conference. The few I had attended so far always made me feel less than. But for the first time ever, I… had a great time. The following year, we attended All Day Hey! and then State of the Browser. By 2018, I was incredibly motivated and engaged in the front-end community, and I had organised my own events, such as Codebar Monthlies, Homebrew Website Clubs, and LondonCSS.

I have so many feel-good memories of events and talks I saw.

Jeremy's talk at ViewSource that made me work on this blog.

I remember Jo's talk about perfectionism, Impostor Syndrome and Anxiety. It was the quick therapy lesson I didn't know I needed then. All because of a community-led event called TODO London.

Charlie's talk at FFConf, which mentioned "CV-driven development", explained my frustration with modern front-end tools.

Tim's talk unlocked something in me: you can learn by building useless things.

I cried during Suz's talk. I, too, have that passion.

Beaming with a smile because all I want is to be as cool as Ruth.

Feeling avenged by Heydon's talks.

Dreaming to be as bright as Michelle.

Karaoke parties after events.

Conversations with people and realising that I was finally surrounded by people who cared about making a usable web.

Seeing my "buddies from the internet" at least once a year.

Meeting my "buddies from the internet" for the first time when we attend the same event.

And many more...

It is 2024, and I am so grateful to have given talks at the events that inspired me. But I am also grieving the loss of other events I deeply loved, like TODO London, and recently having conferences like Front be cancelled. Every little meet-up in London and conference contributed to who I am as a person and a professional.

I agree with Marc: the things I said above can happen at corporate events. But damn… small community-driven events are that little 3rd space for someone like me… who made their hobby their career and now doesn't know where to hang out.

I love you all and miss you.

This said, I have some news: I'm going to start a new small free meet-up in south west London. Hopefully, this will attract people who live in the area and work from home. I hope to share more news soon.